At one point I was taken by an idea for spiritual growth . . . that focusing and controlling my mind could give me greater power over my reality. That was 2006.
Then as I spent more and more time in meditation I found and experienced new and exciting things. More to be seduced by. Reading minds. Direct cognition. Time travel. The ability to heal people. Inject thoughts. And create reality inside hours. Measurable and near immediate feedback.
But at some point I became jaded. Perhaps it was looking through the dream, the illusion of this world, life. Most things became boring. I imagine this is the feeling an astronaut has after going to space. Or a skydiver feels about being on the ground.
In early 2014 I begin to refocus my energy toward magic and God. And by April I experienced God in a whole new way. I like to call this touching the forever. And of course that experience not only created a greater contrast of life vs God, it also provided something else. When the feeling wore off a new reason to confirm why I was jaded by reality in the first place.
God is funny. I think mostly because of the inside jokes. The ones we could only tell ourselves. The ones only someone close could understand. A good seduction keeps you guessing, wondering, on your feet. A good seduction has mystery and intrigue for the unknown.
But I’ve seen the origin of the life. I’ve sat in it. And the world became lack luster. I’ve been bored. Sure I focus on love. I focus on what my inner voice wants me to do, but my underlying disposition has been . . . well, drab. Like seeing the mechanics of a magic trick. The prestige is gone.
This morning I woke up like many days, before the sun. I grabbed a cup of coffee and headed for the roof. I like to sit and watch the Balinese zipping by on their motorbikes. I like to see the sun tear into the day.
And something happened. I remembered the absolute magic of this place. It’s a playground. That I shape reality how ever I want.
Want more God? No problem.
Want more sunshine? No problem.
More magic moments, or travel, or love? No problem.
I’ve been focused on the separation of God. The distance between the feeling of forever and the world. They do not compare. But, in this place anything, any want is possible.
Any version of reality if imagined with applied focus can become real.
So as it turns out the seduction continues.
Today I focus on bringing a new reality into focus. One where God melts into forever, where the sunrise and the sunset are one. And a moment is timeless.